TROUBLE AFTER PARADISE

For days after his carnal experience with Esperanza, Joey is still floating 10 feet off the ground.

The next couple of days go by, and I am just radiating this aura of joy and love - even in the hallways at school. It’s as if nothing can faze me.  Now, this must be what it is like to be in love. Even some of the black girls smile at me, as they pass me in the hall. Including Carol Simmons, who’s probably the most beautiful girl in 10th grade - black or white. Even when David White and the Orange Face brothers scowl at me as they bop down the hallway, calling me a “punk-ass-bitch,” it doesn’t matter. I just beam at them with compassion in my heart, and float on down the corridor. I feel saintly! Although, I am dying to tell somebody about the whole Esperanza experience. But who can I tell? Not Skinny or Ricky - they think I’ve been boffing her all along. Certainly not Na-Na. It’s just welling up inside me, ready to pop. Finally, I just have to spill it to somebody, and wind up telling Marc, my Greek stoner dishwashing partner, at The Fox Hole.

I’m surprised, because as I’m reciting to him the tale of my love fest, he keeps pressing me for every minute detail. He’s asking me very specific questions. After each verification, he says - “excellent!” Later, he presents me with a nice, thick spliff. As a congratulation gift to share with Esperanza.

The next day, when I come to school, the black kids are in an uproar. There’s some serious trouble brewing again. I find out that somebody has painted KKK in white, on Contreau’s black Camaro in the parking lot! The black kids are enraged that someone would have the nerve to pull something like that - right there in the parking lot. They are convinced that TheKlan is present somewhere among the white kids. And the black kids are out for revenge.The white kids, of course, are equally terrified of another Black uprising, and they keep their distance. Tensions are definitely high. I have a feeling I know who is responsible for this.

Joe Montaperto

Writer, murderer, bon vivant par excellance - I pay the rent as a catering bartender, and sometimes shoot poison darts at white people from trees in Hoboken, while shouting UUUMMMBBAAAAGGGGAAAA!!