It’s the next day afterJoey loses his virginity to Esperanza and he is deliriously happy
The next day, Sunday, arises. As I wake up to a sunny late morning, it’s like I’m entranced in a soothingly sweet lucid dream.
Oh my God! Did it really happen last night? Had I truly become one in a magnificent, passionate embrace with - Esperanza? I am possessed by happy demons. Infused with giddiness. As the day wears on, I am spontaneously bursting into insane song and dance routines like –
“Wherever we go, whatever we do, we’re gonna do it together!”
I’m snapping my fingers. Doing pratfalls down the stairs into the living room, for God’s sake! Just out of control. That evening, as my sisters are helping my mother get dinner ready in the kitchen…for no apparent reason, I whimsically grab the broom from Maryanne, and go into this bizarre rendition of –
“Do-re-mi” from Mary Poppins, and using this exaggeratedly theatrical voice. I’m doing pirouettes all over the kitchen, with the broom.
“Doe, a deer, a female deer, ray, a drop of golden sun; me, a name, I call myself, far, far, far to run…”
My mother is looking at me, half smiling, and half very alarmed.
“Ewww, get out of here - freak! Snaps Maryanne.
“What are you - mental?” chimes in Karen.
They are not smiling.
But, nothing - nothing, can deter my cheerfulness. Today, I’m in a giving mood. I actually come to their aid, pushing past them, and carrying the baked ziti and sausages to the table!
“Pardon me, pardon me! Allow me, madam.”
“What is wrong with him tonight?!” They both look at me disgustedly.
I begin to serve out portions to them, like a butler, like Mr. French, from Family Affair. Yeah, I’m Mr. French now, that’s who I am! The thought of it cracks me up, as I start speaking in that English butler kind of accent. I’m quite amused with myself. My father, is now eyeing me suspiciously.
“He’s on something, ma! I bet he got a hold of some speed, or uppers, from his black drug dealer friends at school!” acuses Maryanne.
“I wouldn’t talk, not with all those drug addict skanks you hang out with! Joe Baretti! Heh, heh,” I retort in a sing-song voice.
“Joe Baretti?! He’s the sweetest guy in the world! He doesn’t even drink beer or – “
“Drug addict! Drug addict!” I chant.
“Don’t let me find out your smoking any of that funny stuff, or whatever,” my father warns me.
“God! Can’t somebody just be happy?” I complain.
“Not that happy, my friend. It’s not normal.”
“He’s not normal.” Maryanne condemns.
I cluck my tongue and sigh.
“I’m not on anything, Wallace (that’s what I called him, for some reason). Jeez…I’m just in a good mood.”
“I’m just saying, I find out you’re doing any of that stuff, I’ll have your ass in a military school so damn fast” …his voice trails off, as he proceeds to cut his meat into precise two inch cubes.
“Damn! Can’t anybody just be happy around here?”
This whole scene reminds me of this Star Trek episode that really annoyed me. The Enterprise beams down McCoy, Spock, and a few of the crew to this planet, where an expedition team from like a hundred years ago, supposedly got stranded on. Figuring everybody would be long dead by now, they’re instead shocked to not only find them all alive, but they haven’t aged at all, either! And they’re ridiculously healthy, too - and happy! There’s these flowers on the planet that shoot these spores, and it keeps everybody happy, healthy, and young. They work just enough to sustain themselves, and the rest of the time they just have sex and fun. So the flowers shoot the Enterprise crew with the spores also, and pretty soon everybody just wants to have a good time. When Kirk finally beams down, he, for some reason, is annoyed that everybody is happy. Even Spock. In fact, Spock is hanging upside down from a tree branch, laughing - and he has a girlfriend! Spock! He only mates like once every seven years, usually. Whoa. So Kirk beams back up to the Enterprise in a huff, and devises a way for the starship to emit this ultrasonic sound wave, that destroys all the flowers. And everybody’s miserable again. Except Kirk, who’s feeling good about it! I mean, why did Kirk have to ruin everything? Why couldn’t he just leave it be?
Even later, when they all get back on board, Spock laments –
“For the first time in my life, I was happy.” What a bummer.
Anyway, Kirk is like my father, I think, just trying to spoil my fun. It doesn’t matter, though. All I have to do is think back to last night with Esperanza, the way it was so tight in her MG Midget, and how my leg would involuntarily jerk, once accidentally kicking the radio button on to Van Morrison’s, Crazy Love! I mean, how perfect is that? How the windows were so fogged up from the contrast of the bitter cold outside, and the steamy heat inside. How Esperanza would make these noises that murmured from deep inside her breast…sounds I’ve never even heard from another human being before. That’s all I need to smile and create a warm, tingly feeling inside me! And nobody or nothing, can ever take that away!
