WHAT HAPPENED?!
With all of the shit that had been going on in school and everything, I suddenly realize I haven’t seen Esperanza in, like, two weeks! So, I wake up early the next Saturday, put on my best black clothes and head off for Tijeras de Oro!
Will it be, like, a hero’s welcome?! Will she jump into my arms, and kiss me madly?! Will she be pissed off that I haven’t come up sooner?! Or maybe, she’s just completely forgotten all about me, like I’m just some kind of dumb kid she’s been playing around with?! Who knows? All I do know is that I have to see her, and find out for myself.
When I get off the bus on Broad Street, I hesitate for a while before walking to the shop. Why does all this stuff have to be so damn hard? So scary? It’s not fair. Feeling sorry for myself, and jittery with nerves, I linger outside the front window for a minute, hoping the farting and burping that’s plaguing me will cease. My thoughts fade into an unconscious stupor though, as I lose myself in the pulsating rhythm of the flashing lights lining the awning and window.
Ah, there she is. Right there in the front, cutting some lady’s hair. My spirits instantly ascend and a dab of courage flushes through me as I gaze at her from outside. Even though she has her back to me, I would recognize that flawless butt, clad in extra tight leopard skin pants (if you want to call them that), anywhere! I stand there, worshipping it from afar, as a hot flame zigzags through my chest. MAN!
I creep in tentatively and park myself next to her, waiting for her to turn around. The place is packed, the Spanish music blaring even louder, and the activity more manic than I’ve ever seen it before. I guess because it’s Saturday. It fills me with a kind of good feeling, though. A happy feeling, as I wait for her to move in my direction. Everything, my whole life, is riding on her reaction now.
What happens in that next second is one of the spookiest scenes I have ever witnessed. She turns around - and just looks right through me! Her eyes seem to almost – disconnect - like they were in another dimension. Weirdly enough, it reminds me of that same eerie look that Na-Na Johnson displayed in his eyes. Goosebumps run all up and down my neck and back. She seems totally physically changed, somehow. I know immediately that something is radically wrong. I don’t know exactly what, or at least, I couldn’t or wouldn’t, admit it to myself. A combination of sadness and anger racks through me. I become confused. She’s still beautiful as hell, she can’t help that, but her whole attitude, the electricity, is missing.
She stares at me detachedly for a few seconds like she’s reaching for a memory… then her pink lips turn up quizzically, into a sort of sad smile.
“Hi - papi…” she says slowly.
“Hey! Um… how’s it-uh-going, Esperanza?!”