t all begins while me and my cousin Skinny are watching ‘The Creature From The Black Lagoon’ on TV. Down his basement -  a Saturday morning in March of 1974. The 12th time we’re watching it, as it is part of ‘Creature Features’ horror festival. In Roselle, New Jersey.

We’re 14 years old, and definitely shaken by the sudden forced racial integration of our new high school. We’re kind of jittery and jump - but also bored and restless - all mixed in with our emerging teen hormones. Another source of confusion.

“Hey - let’s break into Daniel Webb’s house!” Suggests Skinny spontaneously.

“Yeah!” I respond gleefully.

Now the thing is, Daniel Webb is probably our best friend. We know his whole family well. We’ve even eaten dinner over there. God, I mean, we pick him up for Church every Sunday morning. But we’re also kind of annoyed at him. He’s been elected the Treasurer in every club we’ve formed so far ( the last being Club UFOR - Unidentified Flying Object Research) and yet, we never know where the dues money went after each of them folded. We suspect that he has ALWAYS been embezzling the funds! That is treason, we decide among ourselves!

He lives 4 houses down from Skinny’s...and we know their EXACT schedule for every Saturday. They go shopping at the A&P at about 10 am, come back to put away their groceries, then pile into the Dodge to visit their grandparents in nearby Kenilworth - where they stay till early evening.

“Let’s go!” We both squeal at the same time.

It couldn’t have been easier to break in - they have one of those totally useless chain link locks on their side door  - I mean - WHO was that supposed to stop? The Hamburgular from McDonalds?! We easily pick it - and we’re in! Exhilirated - crazed with power - INVINCIBILITY even! We survey the living room riches around us - the deluxe 26 inch Admiral color TV, the Zenith 8 track stereo system, the antique armchair in the corner - all waiting to be plundered! And - and...we decide to eat all the raisins out of The Post Raisin Bran. I don’t know, it’s again spontaneous, I guess...we pour the cereal into two small bowls. Skinny and I both proceed to eat EVERY raisin out of the said bowls, pour the bran back in the box, seal both the packaging - AND - the box top with Elmer’s Glue (very carefully) - placing it back in the EXACT same spot on the pantry shelf! We CANNOT stop laughing!! We are so PROUD of our achievement. We leave, re-locking the door. Little do we know this will become our Saturday afternoon ritual for the next year. The worst part of it is... we don’t stop there. No. We THEN take to spying on them... from outside their dining room window while they are eating dinner! Stepping on cinder blocks, barely able to control ourselves - 

“Hahahahah! Shut up! Put your hand over your mouth then! Do you want them to hear us?” 

The dinner table conversation would inevitably come around to the dearth of raisins in the Raisin Bran - again. They are puzzled.  Hahahaha….this is the fuckin’ FUNNIEST thing ever!!

Oh, and we continue to pick Daniel up for Church the next morning every Sunday for a year.

This could NEVER happen today - there would be the home security alarms, the cameras - and the cops arriving immediately. We would be facing a lifelong dosage of Adderall.